Offering It Up

I started this blog knowing that I needed to share particularly painful parts of my life in order to fully move forward to His grace. I am not exactly sure what planted this need, or it's intended purpose. I know that some of the things I am going to share are going to be really painful. I know that some of these things I have never really honestly talked to anyone about except my husband. I feel, though, that it is important to share. These things, I realize, are as much of a part of my journey home as the calling to the church that I feel.

When I get to officially join the church, I want to do it right. I want to do it with an open heart. I want to do it with the pain that some events can cause to have faded away and have the grace to offer the suffering that I have felt up and appreciate the fact that I have gone through this. I can recall specific incidences through the various chapters in ones life - childhood, young adulthood, and finally being an adult. The purpose is not to vilify anyone for my childhood or blame my difficulties on my parents, whom I realized did the absolute best that they could do themselves, but there are undeniable experiences from these times that have forever shaped me and have shaped the type of mother that I am.

This is not to say that my life has been particularly bad or particularly good. It has been humbling. I believe I have more respect for certain things that are apart of life than many that are my age. I know how quickly life can slip through your fingers, so I believe I have a good understanding of what my priorities are - I just need to bring joining the church into that list.


Childhood:
* Death of twin sister
* Death of grandmother
* Abused by neighbor (child neighbor)
* Potential abuse by another neighbor (adult neighbor)
* Father's alcoholism
* Mother's illness

Young Adulthood:
* First relationship
* The birth of my son
* The death of my son
* Rape and the pregnancy that followed
* Birth of daughter
* Long - term abusive relationship
* Birth of daughter and son

Adulthood:
* Death of mother
* Leaving the life I knew
* Accomplishments
* Meeting my husband
* Dirty custody battles
* Separation from children
* Starting life over
* Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde - alcohol abuse in home
* Revelation of daughter's abuse
* Sacrifice two for the safety of one
* Living around death
* My health is challenged
* Moving forward

God touching me:
* Alcohol no more
* Homeschooling
* Helping community
* Multiple Blessings
* Misdiagnosis


I plan to examine each of these different events. I invite you to join me on my journey. Please offer insight where you can.